memorie

Was it apathy or lack of love??

I encountered a strange feeling today. In my last blog, I wrote about the presentation concept. There was one person who shared the saddest moment of his life; it was when he lost his mother. He started off nicely, contrasting the day with India’s 20-20 win etc, and then went into finer details. After a 5 minute stint, he broke off in tears, with trembling voice…etc

During this whole incident, I saw that people around me are very compassionate about that person, there was a lull inside the seminar hall. But well, I found it very unprofessional and disturbing. First, the loss of his mother may be a sad moment for him, but it must also be very private. Why should one invoke and cry? Secondly, I felt like screaming at his face, “why are you mentioning this moment? Loss of your mother is an unavoidable fact. How can it be your saddest moment? Look at me, I have lost my mother, yet my saddest moment would be when I did not do well in the HS exams”.

What’s wrong with me? Why am I devoid of sentiments that most people possess? On the other hand, I’m a bundle of sentiments, I take things seriously quite often; get disturbed, dismayed, distracted; I even cry. So, why this bipolar disposition? Why am I so dispassionate about my mother? Maybe because it was too private and precious for me to dig the memories up, perhaps I was relieved that she went away, perhaps my life is so dependent on “Myself” that there is not much space for other persons that could affect me greatly…

What’s wrong with “I”? Perhaps “I” is the only problem. I don’t know yet. Maybe one day I will…

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